Dear social networking app or site.

Dear twitter Facebook and any other social networking app or site.
i am completely disgusted in what you have done to our youth....... and to our society.. you have ruined privacy in every sense. you deprive young ones from much needed sleep. You AWAKE teens up at any hour of the night to bleep,chirp,twit,tube,txt,kikked some random and spontaneous pointless thought of the day. You create this fake idea they the world wants to be your friend, and unless you respond immediately  your instantly unpopular... your worse to teens then police are to knocking on the door at 2 in the morning to deliver bad news.  you creep, climb, vault, slither, and slide, into every sliver of the privacy that exists... if any does exist any more. ive seen you take a hold and slowly drag down our youth you deprive them of independence and motivation.... you make anyone qualify as a friend..... even though those those two people have never met never had a one on one conversation.... never gone out to eat or for a movie... you sadly  change the meaning of being there for  a friend....

something That i wrote a while ago about the growing up

I have sat and thought and realized. That thru the passage of time.
I am not the same person you used to know I'm no longer 18 what i said and did then was stupid and immature. Was most likely full of hatred and some sort of frustration. Towards life and others.

Almost five years has passed since we have talked. I still feel so many of those questions still lie unanswered that i used to ask myself. No one has seen me or really that i have not seen anyone. I realize we might as well be strangers. So much time has passed and we both lived our lives, we have most likely forgotten each other, Because i haven't been in your life and most definitely you haven't been in mine. Was i simply forgotten or was it to painful to think of where i was. For some reason i never heard from anyone and now i question where was everyone or anyone. For those who considered me friends or who i considered a friend. I know you were busy. And at the same time so was i, but yet the question still comes around?

Are we still compatible as friends? Or has to much time passed. Did you treat me wrongly or more likely did i treat you wrong. Was it something i said or did was it a gesture or a facial expression i gave you. Looking back i realize i have failed all to many times as a friend, not only in what i did, but what i said.

Looking thru these words and these many years. I now ask myself is making new friends even worth attempting all though somehow i have made new friends. Friends who i could have never made it through without. Yet i ask will i fail new friends as badly as i failed the old ones. Would my old friends even want me back. Would you even want to see me. Or has to much time passed and that door is all ready been sealed shut.

Surely i have said and done things to be considered as treating you badly or taking advantage of you.

Sadly no matter how many times i apologize it wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't get across the message of how truly sorry i am for my behaviors. I hope you realize with the passage of time people change and hopefully i have changed for the better. I promise I'm not the same person.

I also realize everyone around me has changed, and I'm still learning to accept that. I realize more then ever the world kept turning even though i was gone...

I'm still so very lost, but I'd like to think I'm not as full of hate and frustration as i once was when i was 18 All i want is a second chance. A chance to show I'm different. That I have changed and become someone everyone wants to know.

Thanks for reading whats on my mind....

is it just me.... who has a glass half empty glass half full kind of day......

its 12:18 and i am lying in my bed and I'm thinking about honestly more things then i should at any time let alone this late on a Saturday night. I realize I have been attending classes at parkland for a month and i have honestly really only met and continue to talk to maybe two people.  I will be honest I'm not good at meeting people and i guess its hard to relate to them. I feel that being 23 puts me in a totally different mindset then younger people. It doesn't help I have lived a different life then most. But its hard to look back and not have regret towards some of the choices that i made and some of them little and others more major. I walk through the hallways of Parkland and realize that this is only going to last for a moment and then ill be off doing something else.. that I will have moved on and I will miss. Its like highschool I hated it but at the same time i miss it. and i realize each time I walk through parkland I'm right back in highschool. The same smells and sounds and there's a part of me that winces because of how similar it is. But then I realize that over 5 years have passed since I was in highschool and a lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same. I realize  I am still the kid that is usually by himself and that i still prefer doodling in a notebook  and sitting by myself that i still will feel awkward in two years even though i will have been at parkland so long.. But something is different this time I'm more goal orientated this time around and sadly i care less what others think of me then i did in highschool.. I have become selfish in the sense that I feel no choice but to succeed and so I shall. It is hard though especially when the hallways bring me back to highschool sadly a time where I did not put a lot of effort into my school and I was far to worried about skateboarding and hanging out with friends... There are days that I hate college and never want to do it again and then again there are days where I drive home with a smile on my face because I enjoyed it so much. I guess i just realize  when it comes to not only our pasts but our everyday lives we have to take the good with the bad and just take it one day at a time.